Wednesday, October 03, 2007


I pity the fool who goes to her very first PiYo (Pilates + Yoga) class without painting her toenails. In other words, I pity myself. Ugh! It totally escaped my fragile mind that we would be removing our socks and shoes. Forgive me, publics, for I have sinned. I am a Summer Shoe Pledge hypocrite.

And it's not just that I hadn't painted them...because I guess technically I had....two months ago. And I noticed during class (you know, during the part where we were supposed to focus on our left big toe during some hellish stretching exercise) that half of my left big toenail is purple. I could see a rich eggplant color* peeking out from between the splotches of "cranberry cream" or whatever the heck color they used to be painted.

Anyhoo, once I got over my toenail disgust, I started paying attention in class.

When I pictured the type of music that might be playing in a PiYo class, I thought of maybe some Enya or Enigma or something soothing-ish. This teacher seems, instead, to be fond of Bob Marley. She sometimes stopped talking in the middle of explaining something so she could sing along with Bob. She also seemed to be taking GREAT PLEASURE in some of the stretches. At times I wondered if I should leave the room and give her some privacy. She exclaimed such phrases as, "Ooh yeah, it hurts so good!" and "Swwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeet downward dogs, everyone!" and other such nonsense.

You gotta give a person who loves their job that much some credit, though. At least until she starts talking about poses named after birds. At that point, run (or fly!) away!

When I stood up after class, my legs were shaking uncontrollably. I had to get out of there fast before someone started thinking I was having a standing-seizure. On second thought, that would be a good name for a yoga pose.

*The rich eggplant color is due to a bruise. I did not paint my nails eggplant and then paint over them with cranberry cream. I'm not quite that lazy...yet.


Pamela said...

awww.. you made me smile.
(and feel guilty for not exercising at all)

Lisa said...

My toenails have teeny bits of polish on them from my last (and first) pedicure. On my birthday, in JUNE. Ok, only the big toes.

Mandy said...

Loved this post. You are very brave for doing PiYo in public. Let me just tell you though it has never made me feel orgasmic.

Magical Liopleurodon said...

...that's what hanging leg raises are for...or so it's been said

allrileyedup said...

A few months after I had my daughter, I went out to a dance club with some friends and when I showed up at their house, I realized that I had outgrown nail polish on my toes and I said, "Oh, well, no one will notice. It's dark, anyways. Right?"

They made me paint my nails.

Scribbit said...

PiYo? That's my favorite, only I heard it called yogalates :) Either way you're still barefoot.