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I should have called in sleepy this morning.

So the other day my dramatic co-worker came in and was talking (loudly) to someone on the phone about her nasty feet. Have I already blogged about this? I don't remember. But it bears repeating. She was on the phone talking about how dry her heels were and how they were cracking and bleeding and her socks were getting stuck to them. I almost threw up in my mouth a little.

It was really gross and really loud. Everyone in the general vicinity heard this phone call.

Turns out she was talking to our team leader...who she must not realize hates feet with a passion. He certainly doesn't want to hear talk of unhealthy ones.

Well, today she comes in and she's got hives. And it's not enough that she has hives. She has to lift her shirt up and show them to me. She's at the doctor's office now. I hope they cure them so she doesn't flash me again. I mean, I've had the common courtesy to not flash her EVER. She could do the same. She said that her husband told her he thought it was hives and she shouldn't touch anything. Am I crazy, or are hives an allergic reaction to something? Is an allergic reaction contagious?

Back to the feet thing....I think it's time to review the summer shoe pledge...

Please raise your big toes and repeat after me:

As a member of the "Toe-Exposing Cute Girl Sisterhood," I pledge to follow these rules when wearing sandals and other open-toe shoes:

I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang over and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs. And the sides and top of my feet will not "pudge-out" between the straps.

I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and chip-free. I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.

I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow.

I will shave the hairs off my big toe.

I won't wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, co-worker, mother or sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it there.

If a strap breaks, I won't duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back into place hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or toss it.

I will not live in corn denial. Rather, I will lean on my good friend, Dr. Scholl's, if my feet need him.

I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes for the low, low price of $4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids' sizes. This is out of concern for my safety and the safety of others. No one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat, and I would hate to take someone down with me as I fall and break my ankle.

I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toe swells and begins to look like Vienna sausages.

I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend, sister and co-worker when she asks me if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals. Someone has to tell her that her toes are as long as my fingers and no sandal makes creepy feet look good!

— Anonymous