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I got these from an e-mail my mother sent me. I don't know who wrote them, but it wasn't me. I'm 1 short, so #1 is inspired by my dog Mercy--I actually did write that one! You've seen e-mails about kids' letters to God. What might a dog write in a letter to God? Dear God, Here is a list of a few of the things I must remember to be a good dog: 1.When we have company over, I will not try to mate with them. It's rude and, besides, I'm a girl. 2.I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up. 3.I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the smell. 4.The sofa is not a face towel. 5.The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff. 6.My head does not belong in the refrigerator. 7.Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an acceptable way of saying hello. 8.I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table. 9.I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house. 10.I will not throw up in the car. 11.I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when company is over. 12.The cat is not a squeaky toy; so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing. 13.And God, when I get to Heaven, can I have my testicles back? Sincerely, The Dog Links to other Thursday Thirteens! |
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19 comments:
Funny...yet so true.
Very true!!!!
Happy Thursday!
It makes me so glad all I have to deal with is children :)
I'm just too uptight to have animals in the mix as well. But nonetheless, very funny :)
Will read th elist to my dog if one day we decide to have one...
:-D
Funny list. Happy Thursday.
Those are hysterical!! I don't know why but 5 really tickled me. lol
Oh, so true!! #12 is a constant in my house; no wonder the poor cat is neurotic.
Too funny! I haven't had a dog in many years, but that brings it all back.
that made me laugh..I think my Lucy the basset hound wrote it!
thanks for signing up for the scavenger hunt...we are having a blast
Still chuckling...
and thanks for visiting my blog :)
Funny stuff.
I'm a little curious how #1 and #13 can both be equally true, but I suppose anything's possible. =)
If only my dog would live by rule #2, my life would be ever so much brighter. Great list!
LMAO! This must be my favorite TT of the week :D
Thanks for stopping by :)
great TT post! thanks for the laughs!
Thanks for the great laugh. But I wonder how many married men also ask for #13? Hmmm?
Thanks for visiting my 13 Classy Insults list.
HAHA! Those are funny! Especially the nose in the crotch, our dog does that! But thats the least of our manner concerns, we'd just like to be able to get him on and off his line without having to lay on top of him or get our necks snapped by his line.
Oh, dear, I wish our dogs would learn some of this!
#7
I always have said that is how dogs say 'How do you do-do?"
I always find myself telling the puppy to "stop trying to eat the cat". He's lucky she's so good tempered or his nose would be missing by now!
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