Friday, May 04, 2007

C'Mon, Baby, Light My Fire

I broke down and went to Wal-Mart the other day. You may well know that I don't particularly enjoy going to Wal-Mart. It's not the store I hate (they have pretty much every product known to man!) it's the people. It's usually the other customers (who should part like the Red Sea when they see me coming), but occasionally it's the know, on those rare occasions when I actually SEE an employee while I'm in there.

I think I've blogged before about my hatred of some cashiers' overzealousness when it comes to making conversation about the items I'm buying. I mean, if it's just a, "Oh, I've been meaning to try this new flavor. Do you like it?" Ok. I can deal with that. But I don't need a commentary on every.single.item in my cart. By the time I'm completing the check-out process I'm already on edge from having to dodge hillbillies and their unsupervised children. I don't need the cashier to push me over the edge. As an aside...

{aside}Do you know where the bathroom scales are at Wal-Mart? Well, they're not with the bathroom stuff. They're also not with the exercise equipment. They're between the live fish and the paint brushes. Just so you know.{/aside}

Anyway, when you're a nut like me, you remember the faces of the cashiers that annoy you and you try to steer clear. I sensed DANGER when I got in line the other day, but it was the shortest line and I was tired of being there.

When it was my turn, I tried to avoid eye contact. It didn't work. She started talking to me. I don't even know what she said for the first few minutes. I was digging around in my purse for my wallet when I heard her ask me a question. I didn't understand what she said, so I said, "What?" And she said, "Are you gonna light someone's fire?" I thought, "Oh crap! What did she just scan? Did someone slip something sexually explicit into my cart when I wasn't looking?" And she said, "The Frank's RedHot." Oh. Whew! I said, "Yeah." I thought that would be the end of our conversation.

It wasn't. You know why? Because then she told me my total and said, "Are you interested in donating to the Children's Miracle Network today?"

I told her "No. Not today."

She proceeded to argue with me. "Oh, c'mon. It's only $1."

Well, I'm sure as heck not going to donate now that she's being obnoxious. I said, "I usually end up coming here at least once or twice a week. Not to mention, that there are other businesses that do the same thing. I can't donate to everything every time I'm asked to."

Oh, but she's still not done! "Well, I don't ask you to donate every time!"

At this point, I thought to myself, "Am I arguing with a Wal-Mart cashier? Is this really happening?" I looked at her like she was a crack head. And finally she gave up.

She snapped her fingers in mock defeat and said, "I'll getcha next time!"

The heck she will!


Lynne said...

You must shop at the same Wal-Mart I do! I hate "friendly" cashiers.

Sparkling Cipher said...

Ah, so they don't just like me. I get the girl who tells me why she likes playing Monopoly (no, I didn't buy a game, it came out of nowhere), the woman who informed me that she was allergic to bananas (good thing I'm buying them, not you, huh?), the girl who asks me EVERY SINGLE TIME, "Where is that?" when I give my ZIP to authorize my AmEx card, and the guy who can't bag to save his life, but loves to talk about the "categories" of items I've bought.

Aack! I'm running out of cashiers!

Heart of Rachel said...

Oh my, that cashier sounded too persistent for comfort. I don't appreciate attitude like that either.

Anyway, just dropped by. I came from Amy's scavenger hunt.

Happy weekend!

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh! You get them, too?! Ugh, sometimes I feel like a magnet that attracts all the chatty cashiers. The moment most of them open their mouths, I instantly start going *lalalala, I can't hear you* quietly in my head. None of them are usually rude but they cross my comfort zone. But, that lady you dealt with was down right rude! I think I would have told her that if she wanted them to have that $ so badly, she could fork it over. LOL! Crackhead is right!

Cordia Amant said...

Yeah, I've learned to avoid the midnight cashier who has the same line for everyone -- "Your own free, specialized Walmart bookmark" -- as he hands you your receipt. No thank you.

Anonymous said...

Okay, I was sucked in because of your love of books, but now I see you are a shameless truth giver much like myself. You made my blogroll. I am against over zealous Wal-mart cashiers so much so when asked what my worst fear is I say that my daughter will grow up to work there.

For the record to all cashiers out there quit talking to us! We don't like it. You are not working for tips. Quietly and QUICKLY ring up our purchases and let us be on our way! *AHEM* oops this is not my blog. I save this diatribe for my