Thursday, December 07, 2006

A Merry Heart Doeth Good Like a Medicine

I really like books that make me laugh. Chick Lit is good for this (and admittedly not much else). Here are some funny quotes from a recent Chick Lit I read called Easy by Emma Gold. They may not be funny to you since they're so out of context, but I thought they were hilarious at the time.

"Sandra had a full personality bypass operation soon after her engagement. It was very sad but not completely unexpected. She had arrived. The sole purpose of her existence had thankfully been achieved and no further effort to amuse and befriend would now be required." -- page 70.


"So it is to be expected that I often receive inquiries about the existence of a boyfriend in my life. Most people are kind and act surprised on being told that I am single. Others cross the sensitivity barrier and probe further: "Why not?" As I am also a bit on the touchy side, I interpret this question to mean: "What's wrong with you?"" --page 237.

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This one isn't a Chick Lit book, but it's got several amusing parts. I highly recommend it (even though I'm not even halfway through it yet).

The Eyre Affair by Jasper Fforde (very weird, imaginative, and amusing book)

"Miltons were, on the whole, the most enthusiastic poet followers. A flick through the London telephone directory would yield about four thousand John Miltons, two thousand William Blakes, a thousand or so Samuel Coleridges, five hundred Percy Shelleys, the same of Wordsworth and Keath, and a handful of Drydens. Such mass name-changing could have problems in law enforcement. Following an incident in a pub where the assailant, victim, witness, landlord, arresting officer and judge had all been called Alfred Tennyson, a law had been passed compelling each namesake to carry a registration number tattooed behind the ear. It hadn't been well received--few really practical law-enforcement measures ever are. -- page 106
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Sorry for that unexpected foray into literature.

You know, work has been very quiet today. This was not expected but I'm certainly not complaining.

I'm excited at the prospect of seeing some of my long-lost college buddies this weekend. Girl days are fun.

Here's something funny that Hayden forwarded to me yesterday:

DANGEROUS:What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS:Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Wow, you sure look good in brown!
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine

DANGEROUS:What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's my paycheck.
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS:Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that?
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS:What did you DO all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't over-do it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some more wine.

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