Thursday, June 19, 2008

Rumbly Rambling

Occasionally, I unwittingly go down the frozen foods aisle at Wal-Mart. There are many pitfalls in the frozen food aisle. Especially if you're making the trek on an empty stomach.

You might see a package of hush puppies and think, "OH! I HAVE been craving hushpuppies!" and drop them in your cart only to realize later that you have a fear of deep frying things and as a result, have never taken the Fry Daddy you received as a graduation present out of its box and are therefore not likely to fry the hushpuppies.

(That was one heck of a run on sentence, no?)

You might also be tempted to buy a box of Hot Pockets. I am convinced that nobody ever buys Hot Pockets because they have a genuine love for them. It's just that the commercials make them look SO good and one is left to ponder if they really HAVE been able to contain a Mexican flavor fiesta within a pocket of carbs (they HAVEN'T). I know, I've been there. You think, "Ooh, Chicken Fajita flavored Hot Pockets! That flavor might actually be good!" Then you take them home, take one bite, and realize it was only false advertising. Before you know it, you and your dogs are experiencing gastrointestinal woes (because you feed your dog your leftovers, you know you do) and you realize you should have listened to Jim Gaffigan and left the Hot Pockets at the store.

Anyway, I avoided both of those pitfalls today, but I did buy a Totino's pizza. No frozen pizza is really "high class", but I'm pretty sure that Totino's is the white trashiest of them all. You know what? That's OK. I like Totino's pizzas best because I don't really enjoy the tomato taste of most pizza sauces. Totino's sauce doesn't taste like tomatoes at all, which might be cause for alarm, but I refuse to read the box and find out what the sauce is REALLY made of.

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