Squirrel Implants

Let me start out with a little mullet haiku to set the mood:

Oh Squirrel brother!
Your tail, my hair--we are one
Yet I must eat you.

(courtesy of the now defunct website,www.mulletlovers.com)

So there's this normally clean shaven guy at work who walked in one day with the biggest, bushiest, moustache I've ever seen. I mean, this thing sprang up overnight like a Chia Pet! It looks like he has glued an unconscious baby squirrel to his upper lip. When people get hair implants, is it human hair?

I cannot run into this guy without being reminded of Ron Burgundy (ala Anchorman), except this guy's moustache is much thicker than "Ron's" puny example of facial hair.