You know what kind of freaks me out? It freaks me out when I take a look at my life and compare it to what I expected my life to be like at this point. I'm sure glad God is in control because I certainly am not!
It's not that my life is bad. I'm not complaining. I know that I'm blessed beyond anything I deserve. I don't even think that my life is worse than I expected it to be. Just different.
I have friends that I was once really close to that I haven't seen in years. Some of us are separated by geographical distance. Some of us are separated by relational distance. Sometimes I can't figure out how (or when or why) it happened. This is perhaps the thing that freaks me out the most. I have friends that I was (by all appearances) extremely close to at one point in my life. I guess I just kind of always figured that we'd stay that way. I figured that we would share major life milestones together in more personal ways than whatever this pseudo-do-I-remember-you-from-somewhere?-friendship affords.
I should make it clear that my love for my friends is not dependent upon their participation in my life. I've got too many good memories for that to be the case. That doesn't mean I'm not grieved by it in many ways, but it means that I'm not (or at least I don't intend to be) holding grudges.
Work isn't what I expected either. Church isn't what I expected. My family isn't what I expected by ANY stretch of the imagination...and that's not code for "woe is me, I'll die an old maid". I mean my born-into family isn't what I figured it to be. Sometimes I just stop and look around and wonder if this is some psychological experiment that I'm failing miserably.
It's kind of like being homesick, but I don't know where home is. The references in the Bible about being "aliens and strangers" have never seemed more appropriate.
Hebrews 11:13-14
13All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. 14People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own.
I Peter 2:11
11Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul.
Ephesians 2:18-20
18For through him we both have access to the Father by one Spirit.
19Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and aliens, but fellow citizens with God's people and members of God's household, 20built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone.
Basically, thank God for God. Thank God for hope. Thank God for heaven.
There is comfort in knowing that I feel like an alien because I am an alien. I was made for heaven and even though I've not yet experienced it, there's something ingrained within me that says, "Just wait until you see your real home. It's like nothing you've ever imagined."
Disappointed because this blog entry wasn't funny? This is funny...
3 comments:
That whole post earns my Kudos. First we all have to step backand look over life and see where we are headed. Cool to see that your focus is on Him even while freaked out. That is just too cool that you turned to scripture for your answer. I need to do that far more often.
Secondly Wierd Al' RULES. I have not heard this song or seen the video so that was awesome to see.
Thanks for that!!
This is weird b/c I was sitting here earlier today thinking, "This is not where I wanted to be at this point in my life, and it really bums be out." I do feel like it is spiraling way out of control.
P.S. I heard that song on the radio the othe day and I got to thinking, THAT IS MY THEME SONG!! How sad is that? =/ lol
This is by far the best blog entry I've read from you.
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