Vending Crisis

Dearly Beloved,

We are gathered today to mourn the loss of two great friends: The Coke Machine and The Snack Machine. They've always been so good to me (except for a couple of times when the Coke Machine spit out a Diet Coke instead of a real Coke), and today I got to work and they were gone. I didn't even get a chance to tell them goodbye. I stood in the gaping darkness where they once stood and stared solemnly into the vast emptiness.

They're supposed to be replaced by vending machines that offer healthier choices. People who care about healthy eating don't eat food from vending machines. They really should have hired me to do some market research before cutting us off cold turkey like this.

And who wants to eat a microwavable hamburger or egg salad from a vending machine? Bring back the M&Ms, bring back the potato chips, and most of all, bring back the cokes!