People Write the Darndest Things

But before I go into that, I need to give a vending update. The new "healthy" vending machines have arrived. They appear to contain the exact same things that the old machines had, the products have just been rearranged. Even the Coke machine isn't that different. It just has an extra button for bottled water. Very weird. No month old chicken salad sandwiches or anything.

I had an e-mail this morning from Jesus. I thought, "Sweet! Jesus e-mailed me. I bet it's important." But it wasn't the real Jesus. It was Jesus Garcia or something and he wanted me to have more luck with the ladies by taking male enhancement products. What a bummer. First of all, I don't want to have luck with the ladies. Second of all, I don't have anything male to enhance. Jesus Garcia should use Infobase.

Here's a portion of an e-mail we got at work:

Through-out the weekend and on Monday, we ask for your help by not placing any food refuge in the trash cans at your desk.

Do you think they might have meant refuse? When in doubt, use a dictionary.

And here's an example of one of my favorite grammar mistakes. The beloved dangling participle. This is from a guy who, like me, was looking for a swimming pool for his dogs:

If you still have it, and am willing, I’d love to take it off your hands for you. I too was looking for the same exact thing for a puppy I got my wife to play in while it’s hot.

I don't think people should play in puppies, hot or not.