Old Navy's New Fit that Doesn't

So I was in Old Navy the other day and was looking for a tank top in a particular color to layer with another shirt. I spotted the color I was looking for and raced over to the table and snatched one up. Later on I went to the dressing room and tried it on. I thought..."Man, this is kind of tight for a medium...I look like a hoochie!" When I took it off, I noticed the tag said, "TINY FIT". Tiny fit! Tiny fit?? Why? Whose idea was that? What is the purpose of tiny fit? Showing off people's groceries, that's what! I nearly threw a tiny fit!

And what about the people (like me, thanks to Tiny Fit!) who have to wear a Large? "Yes, I'll take a Large in the Tiny Fit shirt!" Isn't that kind of an oxymoron? And do people who wear size Large, XL, XXL really want shirts so tight that they get lost in their belly flop? I'll answer for myself...NO! I spend my life trying to hide the spare tire, not show it off. Help me out, Old Navy!

I ended up not buying the shirt. I figured I would go back later and look for something less "tiny". As it turned out, I did go back later. I looked around and didn't find any suitable shirts in the right color, so I returned to the Tiny Fit and grabbed a large. I tried it on in the dressing room and decided that the Large was sufficiently modest.

I wore it (under a linen button up shirt) the next day. At the beginning of the day I was pleased with how it looked. A couple of hours later, I started feeling a breeze and noticed that the neckline of the tank top had now crept down past the top of my bra and was threatening to continue its downward descent. Apparently the tiny fit fabric stretches out during the day and shows off more groceries than if I had just gotten the excessively tight Medium.

I decided to try to shrink it. I washed it and put it in the dryer on the highest setting. Did it work? NO! Any other shirt that I didn't want to shrink would have shrunk, but not this bad boy!

Wanted: bright turquoise tank top that won't leave me exposed. Tag must not include the words "tiny" or "stretch". Shoulder straps must be made to fit the shoulders of a normal human being, not a gorilla. If you see such a shirt in the wild (aka the mall), please let me know the store name and price!