Monday, January 14, 2008

Major Announcement!

(Picture is an Anne Taintor design. You can purchase her stuff here.)
I bet you thought it was going to be something good when you saw the title, didn't you?


I just wanted to let you all know that I'm on my way to being a domestic goddess.

Never mind that I verbally assaulted a dead chicken I was baking the other day by calling it a "little whore" when I burned myself. Never you mind that.

Never mind that I bought a spool of thread the other day and couldn't figure out how to find the end of the thread (The Boy had to show me). Never you mind that.

None of those things matter because I am now the proud owner of a (40 year old) sewing machine. Soon-to-be-gone are the days of me thinking that "darning" involved staring at the clothing item in question and yelling, "Darn you!"

I have recently learned how to thread a sewing machine and how to make thread go on the bobbin. And I learned that no matter how hard you press on the foot pedal, the stitches stay the same distance apart. WHO KNEW?!

Like I said, I'm well on my way to being domesticated. Anybody need me to sew something?


Magical Liopleurodon said...

well, I do have a hole in my skivvies

Mercy's Maid said...

The best way to darn skivvies is to throw them away and buy some new ones.

Kevin said...

I have some socks you could neaten up a bit... my toes stick out !

Mercy's Maid said...

I've talked to you about the socks. The way to darn them is to find two matching socks that have holes in them, and calmly march to the trash can with them.

Then you don't have any "odd" socks, and you'll hardly miss the old ones.

And then the next time you go to the store, you can buy a NEW package of socks--splurge a little, you deserve it! After all, you probably haven't bought new socks since 1995.

I hope this helps.

Kevin said...

Wow. The capitalist sock companies have really gotten to you. That's the whole point of having a sewing machine... so you can REPAIR your clothes and not "trash & buy".

It's all about NEW socks, isn't it ? What about my faithful old socks that have served me well ? Socks that have been along with me while I crossed creeks on horseback... or climbed Pinnacle Mountain... or flew to Mexico. They were always there to protect my vulnerable toes from the evils of blisters and moisture. How can I just throw them away ? Oh, the humanity.

Mercy's Maid said...


You don't REPAIR stupid, cheap socks anymore! Welcome to the year 2008! You saw what happened when I darned your shirt the other day. You'd have to amputate a toe to be able to wear socks that I darned. But if you love your socks more than your toes, I'm sure that could be arranged...I still have my scalpel from college biology.

Let me know...

Jim said...

Ya'll're phunneee!!!

Jim said...

well, since you won't darn kevin's socks, perhaps you can darn the leak in my truck's engine...I've "darned" it up one side and down the other and it still ain't fixed
in fact, nearly everytime I look at it, I darn it.

PS and DARN the word verification! this is my third time, sometimes the letters run together so much you can't tell if it's vw or wv or vvv

Mercy's Maid said...

I know. I hate word verification too, but you should see some of the comment spam I get when it's not turned on!

Pamela said...

word of caution.
Keep your fingers away from that little metal needle that bounces up and down.

Mercy's Maid said...

Yes, I have a healthy fear of the little metal needle. If I darn my finger, I'm likely to do more than darn it verbally.

Jim said...

haha, I must admit this is one of the best darned blog entries I've read in awhile