The Dear Me Project

Dear Me (1990ish),

Life sucks right now, but it won't always suck. You'll remember this part of your life as being a terrible time period, but your life isn't all like this. You'll grieve and you'll heal (but you'll always hurt a little). You'll grow up and your parents will start to act like parents (incidentally, by that time you won't really welcome it). You'll realize that Junior High is just a phase and the people who think they matter so much now really don't. Some people are just rotten people and they aren't fooling as many people as you think they are. If you were to slap the mess out of a couple of people, you wouldn't regret it in the long run. But you won't because it wouldn't be the right thing to do.

You aren't going to grow up to be who you think you'll be. You can't just dream something and make it be so--but never stop dreaming. Just because your life is going to turn out different than you think doesn't mean your life is going to be bad. Just a different adventure. You'll like it most days.

You're going to meet some incredible people along the way and learn that you don't have to be biologically related to someone for them to be family. You're going to lose touch with people and you're going to grieve that too, but that's just the way life works. You'll let go of some relationships too. You'll always tend to feel guilty about that, but remember that people enter your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Most people just happen to fall into the first two groups. Cherish the people who don't. Tell them you love them.

You're stronger than you think you are, already. You're already figuring out that just because someone tells you something about yourself or life in general doesn't necessarily mean it's true. That will cause you to doubt and poke and prod and find out truth for yourself, and though you might think that's a flaw, it's really a strength. Some people never get to the point where they think for themselves, but you'll use your head. Don't let anyone tell you that your logic is wrong. Real truth can never be destroyed by logic.

You'll see people you care about totally self-destruct. Don't take it personally when you can't stop it from happening. It's not your fault and it's not your responsibility to force people to do the right things. Some things are out of your control. That simple fact will be hard for you to handle.

You're not fat. You'll look back on the size you're wearing now and you'll wish you hadn't been so hard on yourself. You'll never be that small again. Love yourself now. Love yourself later too.

You'll do things you always swore you wouldn't. Don't be so hard on yourself about them. Through your mistakes you'll learn hands-on lessons about God's grace that you never would have learned any other way. Go through your life striving to do the right things, but when you fail, look for the lessons you can learn through your mistakes. Your mistakes will give you new eyes to see other peoples' failings and you'll empathize with people more easily due to this. It will mold you into a better person than you were before. You'll understand God's love for you, as an individual, in a different way than you ever have before.

Everything has been force fed to you as being black and white, but everything isn't black and white. There are absolutes for sure, but there are also a lot of gray areas. Learn which things are important, measure them against scripture to find your stance, and let go of the gray areas. God left us some mysteries. Anyone who tries to make the gray area into a black or white category is just guessing or spouting out personal opinion as truth. You'll come to abhor that.

Never regret an act of love, kindness, or generosity. Any time spent loving others is time well spent, no matter how hectic your life is and no matter if the person you're being kind to doesn't seem to fully appreciate it. Life isn't so much about the reactions other people choose as it is about you choosing the right actions. Worry about yourself. You're responsible for yourself. You can't always be responsible for others.

You're going to make some stupid choices between now and...well, now. You're going to look back and wonder how you ever had the guts to be such a risk taker. You'll be horrified at the things you got away with and thankful that nothing bad ever happened to you as a result. You'll know God protected you and you'll be thankful.

Love,

Me (2007)


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