Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Hypothetically Speaking...

This is a hypothetical blog about something that is (not hypothetically) a federal offense.

Wouldn't it be funny if someone opened their mailbox and saw that they had received a letter addressed to the previous residents of their home and when they opened the letter (this is where his or her legal issues would arise), they found a Thanksgiving "Brag and Gag" letter? And what if said letter stated things like, "we are praying for peace in Bethlehem, Iraq, and Milwaukee" and the return address on the letter wasn't even in the same state as Milwaukee? Wouldn't it make you wonder if there was a secret war or something going on in Milwaukee?

(/end hypotheticalness)

I bought some new deodorant the other day. It's the same brand I usually get, but it's cucumber melon scented. In my Kroger-induced haze, I erroneously thought that since I like cucumber melon scented other things, it would be great as a deodorant. What I didn't take into account is that I also have cucumber melon scented Nair (bought while in a similar haze). They can try to flavor Nair with any scent known to man, but it's never going to smell like anything but Ammonia with a hint of the scent they add. So my predicament is that every time I move and my deodorant scent wafts up to my nose, I become paranoid that I've applied some Nair somewhere and have forgotten to wash it off. I start to imagine my skin melting off my body. I also am paranoid that I smell like Nair instead of deodorant--which would pretty much defeat the purpose.

4 comments:

Toebee's Fumes said...

What is goin on in Milwaukee? I have vacation there in a month, is it still going to be there when we go?

My friends and family have not said anything to me about it all. I guess they do not want it out in the mainstream news making it what you quoted "secret war". I will not let this "sw" deter me from traveling there. We may drive now rather than fly in so our plane is not shot down or anything.

Thanks for the info, very helpful. Now what do you pack for a secret war? Man.

Mercy's Maid said...

You raise some important questions. I think that you should certainly pack a gas mask. You might also need to take some non-perishable food items and a canteen. Also take some waterproof matches and candles. They might not have electricity in Milwaukee.

Mandy said...

Nail has never worked for me. In fact, I have yet to find a hair removal method that I am really happy with.

In other words...

NO FAIR!

Mercy's Maid said...

Oh I didn't say anything about it actually working as a hair removal product. I just mentioned my skin melting off. :)

I really want to get that super-fancy laser hair removal done. Maybe when I win the lottery.