Monday, October 31, 2005

Captivating Chapter 6: Healing the Wound

I'll go back and remark on the first 5 chapters later, but while chapter 6 is still fresh in my mind, I thought I would write down my thoughts (something serious from me! It doesn't happen too much!). I know that several of my friends have also read this book, so feel free to add your comments about this chapter.

The first time I really discovered Isaiah 61:1-3 was during my church choir's presentation of Michael W. Smith's Agnus Dei. It's an excellent musical that goes beyond the NT coming of Jesus and takes you back to the OT prophecies about the coming of Jesus and his ministry-to-be on earth.

The second time I really discovered Isaiah 61:1-3 was when I was doing a Beth Moore study called Breaking Free. It was during a time when I was wounded and needed to hear about God's compassion--even toward those who have sinned against Him.

It says:

The spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
because the Lord has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,
to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
and provide for those who grieve in Zion--
to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.

It pretty much speaks for itself, doesn't it? It's a message of hope, forgiveness, and total restoration, yet we're willing to settle for so little.

This chapter talks about how we construct a life of safety as a sort of defense mechanism. We have been hurt in the past, so we alter our hearts to make ourselves less vulnerable. This books says that is not necessary, not when we have healing available to us such as that discussed in the verses in Isaiah. In fact, it mentions that a woman's heart was never designed to be hardened against wounds. It was designed to be soft and vulnerable. In defending ourselves in this way, we become someone we were never meant to be.

Another point that they make is that though God wants desperately to "bind up the broken hearted"--heal our hurts, he won't do it without permission.

On page 100, there's a section that says this:

Your wounds brought messages with them. Lots of messages.
Somehow they all usually land in the same place. They had a similar
theme. "You're worthless." "You're not a woman." "You're too
much...and not enough." "You're a disappointment." "You are
repulsive."...Because they were delivered with such pain, they felt true.
They pierced our hearts, and they seemed so true. So we accepted the
message as fact. We embraced it as the verdict on us.

It says that as we accept these messages, we make a sort of agreement with them and it 'locks the door to healing from the inside.' Therefore, we have to renounce those agreements before we can let God in to do the healing.

I've heard someone ask the question before, "What does your tape say?" By that I mean what message about yourself constantly goes through your head? Is it positive or negative? My tape is directly linked to childhood wounds...untrue things I was told about myself. I recognize now that just because someone you're supposed to look up to and respect tells you something, it doesn't mean it's true...but still the tape plays sometimes. I think everyone has a tape. Maybe you've figured out how to replace the negative message with something positive...maybe you haven't....but you've got a tape.

Another part I appreciated about this chapter was the part that encourages the reader to let the tears come. Page 102 says:

Grief is a form of validation; it says the wound mattered. It
mattered. You mattered. That's not the way life was supposed to
go. There are unwept tears down in there--the tears of a little girl who
is lost and frightened. The tears of a teenage girl who's been rejected
and has no place to turn. The tears of a woman whose life has been hard
and lonely and nothing close to her dreams.

Another vital part of healing is forgiveness....a choice you have to make, but forgiveness frees the person who was wounded.

The other methods of healing that were listed were:

Ask Jesus to Heal You
Ask Him to Destroy Your Enemies (your struggles)
Let Him Father You
Ask Him to Answer Your Question

1 comment:

jasonandjennyt said...

Isn't it powerful to realize and finally acknowledge the hurt in our lives, even the ones from when we were really young? I got to know myself so much better after reading this book. In a way, I felt like I relived many hurtful scenes in my life, and grieved all over again. It was different this time though, to replay the scenes and tell myself, "It wasn't my fault" or "That person was just speaking out of anger. What she/her said isn't true." God showed me a side of myself I'd never seen before and allowed me to catch a glimpse of who He perceives me to be. I am still blown away everyday...I also came to accept that the people who have wounded me deeply (which are usually the people closest to me) will probably not apologize for things done or said. They probably dont' even have a clue. With God's help though, I have chosen to forgive. It's definitely not an overnight thing, but a process. I feel much more compassion toward these people now, as opposed to resentment and anger. I'm also able to see that they too are hurting from their own unresolved past. Keep reading the book, I'm interested in knowing what you think.