Thursday, September 29, 2005

Why I wish I was English

I really like English (like from England, Queen Mum, that kind of English) literature. And by literature I don't mean hoity toity books. Just regular run-of-the-mill books that regular people like me read.

I like Harry Potter. (I don't care if you want to burn me at the stake for saying that. Guess what! It doesn't make me want to jump on a broom and try to fly. Actually I haven't touched a broom in a week or two for any reason, so it apparently doesn't even make me want to use a broom to clean my house.)

I like Bridget Jones too. I even like the Bridget Jones movies.

I like Anna Maxted books...well at least I've liked 2/3 of the Anna Maxted books I've read.

Lynne Truss of Eats, Shoots & Leaves fame could come over for dinner and we could discuss this "horrid" brochure I picked up at a kennel the other day--full of spelling and grammar mistakes.

If I were English, I could turn to my friends and say, "You cheeky cow!" and they wouldn't think I was saying that their butt was the size of a cow.

I could refer to underwear as "knickers" and people wouldn't misunderstand me and think I was using a racial slur.

I could call sweaters "jumpers"....I could call pacifiers "dummies"....I could call people "prat" and "git" though I don't know what those mean, really. I could curse simply by saying "bloody!" and I wouldn't feel bad about it because bloody isn't a curse word. But you know what? I'd probably go around saying, "bloody hell!" all the time just because I think it sounds funny. By adding hell to it, I guess I would kind of turn it into a curse word after all.

I could eat scones all the time and people would actually know what scones are when I told them that's what I wanted to eat.

Oh to be English!

2 comments:

jasonandjennyt said...

Mmm...scones...I like scones. Maybe we should get together sometime for tea. Don't you just love people who talk with English accent?

Mercy's Maid said...

Yes. A person with an English accent could just read the phone book to me and I would be happy as a lark.