White Trash Backyard

I took a few days off to go visit family this week. The trip was OK, but when I got back, the first thing I noticed was a huge hole in my privacy fence. It seems that when I was gone, my neighbor's dog (Rodie) decided to come over and keep Butter company. He does that sometimes...always thoughtful and all that. By the time I got home, he was gone though...and he still hasn't shown back up. He's pretty smart.

I'm not sure what happened, but somehow one of the boards in my gate was broken in half. I guess Rodie knows karate or something. He also likes to drag random things around. He rearranged a potted plant, tore open a bag of dog food and distributed the contents evenly around the yard, and tore off half of the doggy-door on the dog house.

There was also a dirty diaper in my backyard, but I'm pretty sure Butter was responsible for that....my neighbors have a new baby, so I'm sure it just blew out of their trash and landed near the fence--and she dug under the fence to retrieve it. After all, what dog could pass up the treasure of sun warmed human feces smeared all over something that is easy to rip up and make even more of a mess of? She's so nasty!

Either that or the neighbors got tired of hearing her bark one day and pelted her with baby waste.

It's good that my part of the subdivision doesn't have one of those swanky neighborhood associations--I'd surely be thrown out on the basis of being white trash. The yard needs to be mowed, there was a gaping hole in the fence, trash strewn about the back yard, and don't get me started about the weeds in the flower bed (my fear of spiders has usurped my gardening motivation). Yep. I'm the female version of Joe Dirt. All I need now is a femullet.