So I broke down and went to the doctor today since I'm still not feeling well. I do not particularly like my doctor, but it's easier to get in to see a doctor that you have a history with on short notice. So I continue to see him.
Him: How are you doing?
Me: Well...if I were doing great, I wouldn't be here.
Him: *grabs tongue depressor*
Me: You can go ahead and put that away.
Him: Oh...alright. *realizes that I can flatten my tongue down so he can see if it means he's not going to put a tongue depressor in my mouth*
Him: OK. Have you had any fever?
Him: What's your temperature been running?
Me: Well, it's been -- *is cut off by doctor*
Him: Where are you feeling sinus pressure? blah blah blah *starts writing prescription*
Me: I haven't slept a whole night in a week. Is there any kind of cough syrup or something that you can give me that will help me sleep while it's making me better?
Him: No. Really the best thing for you to do would be to get some Mucinex D. It will relieve the sinus pressure and that will help you sleep.
Me: I've been taking that for a week and it really hasn't done anything for me.
Him: I mean take it in combination with this antibiotic I'm prescribing. Sudafed (the equivalent of one of the ingredients in Mucinex D) doesn't keep you awake does it?
Me: Well, I don't know, but I haven't slept a full night since I started taking it.
Him: OK, well just go get you some Mucinex D and take it along with this antibiotic.
Crack head! Someone remind me to go to a different doctor the next time I get sick.
Also, why did he prescribe me Augmentin ($40-something) when he could have prescribed me Amoxicillin like he has in the past ($4)? I appreciate that I only have to take Augmentin twice a day, but why would someone manufacture a pill that people with sore throats are likely to take and make it the size of a human head? Do you think I'm kidding? I'll take a picture...
OK. I did take a picture, but apparently even my phone camera gagged on those pills because it won't e-mail them to me. Anyway, they're 1 inch long and probably 1/4 to 1/3 of an inch wide. Disgusting! Anyway, this partially written post has been lingering in my drafts since Monday, so I'm finally posting it!