Subterranian Living...For My Dog

So I've got this dog in the backyard that isn't really mine. She's a beagle puppy to be exact.

Beagles must really be the most annoying animals on the planet. Between the horribly high pitched howling, yipping, and barking, the running away at any opportunity, the psychotic hyperactivity, and the digging, it's apparent to me that God put them here as some sort of a psychological test. A psychological test that I'm failing miserably!

Butter is about 6 or 7 months old. I've "known" her since she was born, and she's been staying with me off and on for several months. I guess I should feel pity for her...after all, she didn't choose to be born a beagle (what dog would?), and I have gotten attached to her even with all of her crazy hijinx.

When I walked outside yesterday to play with her, I noticed two new holes in the yard with mounds of fresh dirt piled all around. These are a horriffic compliment to her previous hole (it seems to be a work in progress) which is approximately 2 feet deep and 3 feet long.

The new holes are deep and are angled in such a way that I believe she's devised a new way to escape captivity: an intricate tunnel system.

I have a few other less likely explanations for her behavior though.

The shape of the largest hole makes me think that maybe she's digging a swimming pool for the summer. She even appears to have graduated the sides of it in such a way as to allow for steps. Maybe she's smarter than I give her credit for. If she starts lining it with bisquene and filling it with the water hose, I'll know for sure.

Another possibility is that she's lost the will to live and is considerate enough to have dug her own grave. However, she's certainly not considerate when she's waking me up at 6 in the morning with high pitched squealing, so I think that pretty much disproves the theory of consideration.

The only other possibility I can think of is that she was watching TV with me when I saw a show on HGTV about subterranian living. It highlighted the popularity of living in underground dwellings. Maybe she liked the sound of it and decided to try it out for herself.

Whatever her reason, my yard is officially a broken ankle waiting to happen. I'll have to order a medic alert bracelet to wear while mowing.

I can't wait to see what hazards await me today.